Former CBS announcer Phil Simms always seemed a little overwhelmed by the idea of talking intelligently about football games. This wouldn’t have been a problem had it not been the literal definition of his job. Instead, Simms and the countless other broadcasters and ex-players who get paid thousands of dollars to talk about the football […]Read more "This Week In NFL Incompetence: Week 2 – The Simms Is Dead, Long Live the Romo"
If you were looking for proof that the beginning of the NFL season is filled with disastrous, sloppy football then by the end of Sunday night you would’ve had a lot of material to work with: the first full day of the season included blown calls, botched punts and a handful of memorable broken plays. […]Read more "This Week In NFL Incompetence: Week 1 – Tablet Holder Guy"
After bursting on the scene with arguably the greatest debut for a rookie wide receiver in NFL history – 10 catches for 217 yards and two touchdowns against the Detroit Lions – Anquan Boldin spent the next 13 years muscling his way through NFL defenders and into the record books. The sure-handed receiver, who announced his […]Read more "Goodbye, Anquan Boldin"
If you score more points than your opponent, you win. That’s how fantasy football works.[note]Unless you play in some bizarro-world league, I guess.[/note] The simplicity of that binary outcome hasn’t exactly made assembling your fantasy team a simple process – for the love of God, look at all these draft strategy guides – but it […]Read more "Introducing PPGAR, Your New Favorite Fantasy Stat"
For roughly a third of its 28 mile run, the I-696 expressway is cut down into the earth, its concrete walls slicing through the moraines that decorate southeastern Michigan. Driving along the highway, with those walls rising up on either side of the you, there is a strange feeling that traffic isn’t driving down a […]Read more "Until You Forget"
When I was a kid, my best friend lived down the street. Ours was that kind of inseparable childhood friendship where we hung out pretty much every day, no matter what. We played with Legos and video games and on the same hockey team. We knew each other’s immediate and extended families almost as well […]Read more "You, Me and DuPree"
Sammy, Summer is in full swing. It’s the season for barbecues and swimming pools and crazy NBA contracts. I’m guessing you were thinking of that last item when you tweeted this: We gotta get paid more I'm pretty sure 2014 class will change the market — King Me (@sammywatkins) July 2, 2017 I get it. […]Read more "An Open Letter to Sammy Watkins"
America is kind of a dumb place right now. We suck at akudemicks school and we keep putting people who seem to be terrible at their jobs in charge of our most cherished institutions. Oh and we elected Donald covfefing Trump as our President too. Not a great run. America likes to see itself as a […]Read more "Peyton Manning: From QB to POTUS?"
Under the best of circumstances it would have been hard to be excited about the fantasy prospects of the New York Jets this year. We are not operating under the best of circumstances. With the news that the Jets are planning to trade or release Eric Decker, the Jets have clearly committed to tanking not […]Read more "The New York Jets Are Beyond Terrible"
Adrian, Marshawn & Jamaal, Before I get ahead of myself, I want to give you guys some much deserved love. Adrian, you had the best combination of size and speed that I’ve ever seen at running back. In 2012, you managed to run for 2,097 yards even though running backs were becoming increasingly irrelevant and […]Read more "An Open Letter to Adrian Peterson, Marshawn Lynch & Jamaal Charles"